Josh pays a bribe

I'll start off saying that I know I broke the law and was at fault. Following is the chronicle of the event for your perusal and enjoyment.

I was tired this morning so I slept in a bit. A little too much "bit" as I realized it was after 8, the time which I usually eat breakfast. I wasn't worried about missing breakfast, I just like getting to Mawe Hai fairly early in the morning so it's not so hot. After eating breakfast and getting ready to go, I saw two of the guests getting ready to go to the peace conference and it's on the way to Mawe Hai so I offered to give them a ride (or they would resort to motos). We're in the car about to go and the one remembers his press pass is in his room. We finally pull out of Maji, windows down (except the guy in the back never opened his) and we're cruising along.

The peace conference is at a university and it's off the side road a bit, but soon enough they are on their way to the conference and I'm on my way to Mawe Hai. I remember looking at the gas gauge and lamenting the fact that I forgot to replace the last 20 I spent and therefore only had 10 dollars. Man was I lucky to have forgotten! I'm chugging along the side road that links to the main road out of town and everything is fine.

I approach the main road and am met with a dilemma. Looking back, it was quite a stupid decision (hind sight's 20/20) and it was so obvious what I should have done. Then again, everyone makes mistakes, and this was one of those times.

As the road I'm on approaches the main road there is a divider in it. Now coming to the main road you are supposed to stay on the right side of the divider, and I clearly saw the divider and was trying to decide what to do. It wouldn't even have been an issue and I would have known which way to take except the divider was very much not a square but a triangle and it appeared that the right side of it might have been just for turning right because that's the way the triangle pushed you. The left side of the barrier was straight, which made it seem like that would be a better option for turning left. I was still trying to figure out what to do (while in the back of my mind tossing in the positions of the yellow-clad police men) when I realized there was no one on the main road and there were a lot of people on the right part of the road where I should have went. In a bout of pure stupidity I decided to defy the law (by this time I had decided I probably should be on the right side of the barrier and even remember passing on the right side of the barrier heading to Mawe Hai with someone else driving) and just go on the left because it would have been so much easier.

It would have been except for the yellow-clad police man who I didn't see and hadn't taken into consideration because he was behind a sign until it was way too late. He also did the only thing which would have caused me to stop by standing in front of the car. He didn't even talk to me but motioned for a guy in blue to come and talk to me. He knew a bit of English and they would have their fun. Before the blue guy got to the car I had locked the doors, deeming that a good precaution against possible vehicle entry. The guy comes over and I ask "Shida iko nini?" (a justly asked "what is the problem?") and he starts talking in French. "Sijue French" (I don't know French). The conversation followed in various volumes and quantities of Swahili, English, and drawings as each person (the blue guy, various yellow people, and I) saw fit.

"Papers." he demands and I hand him my license (as a side note, the license is a manly pink). "Registration papers" and I point to the stickers on the windshield. Only problem is that's not what he was looking for. I tell him it's a DOCS/HEAL Africa car and he knows it has the registration when I remembered something. I flipped down the visor having seen one of the HEAL staff put something there once and it was only a log book. Crap. But wait, the papers were in there. The yellow clad man who stopped me first enters the conversation a bit and says I should be on the other side of the road and I plead a case for the people, the road, etc... While he does this, the blue guy (with my papers) goes around the car and tries to get in. Haha, it's locked.

Crap, the window is open. I forgot about the window and since I had taken the people to the peace conference, it was open with all of it's "reach in and unlocking" potential. He unlocks the door and I quickly push it down telling him he doesn't have to enter my car and we can talk here. He keeps talking about what I'm going to do and I keep telling him I work for HEAL Africa and I work in the field and that's where I'm going to go. He meant what was I going to do about my situation, and I decided to play stupid. Unfortunately, on his fourth try to unlock the door and get in he succeeds, but I had sort of stopped trying. He wasn't armed and we were only going to get out of the wrong side of the road and I couldn't really drive away because there were people everywhere around the car, so there was no use trying to stop him because he would have succeeded eventually. I had made my point by defying him thrice.

We turn onto the main road and pull over as soon as there was an open spot and almost instantly a crowd is outside my window. I pull out a pen and start drawing the intersection and he right away grabs it from me showing me what I should do. I grab it back showing him the triangle and telling him it's hard to turn left from the right side, but it wasn't flying. He started talking about going to the bureau and here was my dilemma. I almost wanted to go and see what would happen, but also knew that I might possibly be screwed if I went - there would be no promise of justice and even less chance of escape than here. I asked him why and he said to pay the money.

"What money?"
"Do you know how to drive?"
"I'm not going anywhere but to Mawe Hai to go to work."
"We go to the bureau."
"Why?"
"To pay the money."
"Ok, we go to the bureau. How much is the fine."
"What?"
"Ok, we will go to the bureau, I want to know how much the fine is."
"The bureau is in the city."
"I know, we will go and I will pay the fine. I know I did it wrong."
"We don't have to go to the bureau" and then to the crowd outside my window " Toka!" (go away). It had no effect. Here enters the moral fight inside my head and I decided to opt out of the unknown at the bureau and make the best with the corruption at hand.
"Ok, if we don't have to go to the bureau, how much is the fine?"
"500 dollars." Not lying, this was his response. Now I really wanted to go to the bureau because there is no way the fine could possibly be 500 dollars. That's 10 months wages for the average Congolese. My outrage followed and I was done being polite. I deemed it necessary to make it known that I was not going to be pushed over with this stupidity.
"500 dollars!? Are you kidding me? That's ridiculous! Do you know how much 500 dollars is? Do you know what you can buy with 500 dollars? The normal person doesn't make that much in a year (ok, I over-exaggerated here, but he had no clue what I was saying anymore. I kept my tone elevated and outraged, but not mad. I made sure it didn't sound hostile, and I talked fast and I knew he had no clue what I was saying). You've got to be kidding me."
"it's 500 dollars"
"bull shit. If it was 500 dollars no one would be able to pay it. Get out of here with that. You're being dumb."
"ok" and he reaches for the paper and writes out 50 dollars.
"No way. Even if I had 50 dollars, there is no way the fine at the bureau is that much. (I calm down and speak in Swahili so he can finally understand me) I don't have 50 dollars. I might have 10." There was a yellow clad lady at the window and he looked at her and she shook her head. "Fine, then we go to the bureau." He writes 20. I open my wallet and pull out ten "I have 10 dollars. That's it. See?" and I showed them the wallet.
"ok" and he hands the 10 to the woman. He makes one last attempt to tell me what I should have done as he exits the vehicle and I tell him (not very kindly) I know what I should have done and drive away rather quickly.

I so wanted to go to the bureau and see what would have happened. Would it have been more corruption and trying to get as much as possible? Is there even an orderly, normal fine for traffic violations? How would I find out to know if I was getting screwed? I can't imagine it was 500 dollars, and even 50 dollars to me doesn't make sense. I wanted to record the whole conversation and take it to the bureau and say "this is what your officers are doing out there." I so wanted to ask for a receipt as he got out of the car but decided to not push my luck. I figure I'm going to be here for a year and I shouldn't really go around making enemies of the police people.
I knew I was wrong and messed up with the driving on the left of the barrier, and would have faced the just punishment for that mistake. As it was, I was not assured of that in any of the possible situations, so I paid a bribe.